Sorry, I don't speak sober.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
