Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
My bed is full of blood and feathers
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
