i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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