you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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