we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
