lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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