Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
