we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
