Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
