Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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