My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
