I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
