How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize