i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Who died my cat blue again?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
