Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
