The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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