Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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