This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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