MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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