Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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