Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
