My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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