I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
