Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Still dying that you shit outside
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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