And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
