dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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