I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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