In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize