so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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