I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
