Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
