I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
well I can't set my house on fire every night
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
