How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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