Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize