for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
