Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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