the condom got lost in my hair
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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