This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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