She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
