drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
