no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
