Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
