apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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