She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
This is the high leading the old right now
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
