update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
