I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
