I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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