i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
