Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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