The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
