Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
