Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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