so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
