i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
