If i come over, it means nothing
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
