look no pants
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
