Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
