Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
