He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
you made out with another girl for some wings
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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