she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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