ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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