I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
