I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
