You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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