it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
