does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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