Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
