It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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