I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
