I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
