Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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