Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
The convent might be a nice break from real life
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
